Monday, October 5, 2009

Peach Pit

So I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been very aware of how often I squint my eyes . . . which I do a lot. Why am I noticing this you may ask? ~WRINKLES~ I’ve never worried about this before so why am I suddenly noticing it now? Age perhaps. *Sigh* I’m 28 trying my damndest to run away from 29, but regardless of my pace it’s still creeping up on me; maybe I need better running shoes.

What should I do? Do I use expensive creams I can’t afford and probably don’t work anyways? Do I take vitamins? Do I super glue my eyes open so that I may never be in fear of squinting again? My eye sockets would probably dry out though. Do I just ignore it and accept that one day I will get wrinkles, or try to avoid it in some way so my face doesn’t end up looking like a dried piece of fruit?

I tell myself that my family has good genes so my wrinkles probably won’t be so bad, but is that true? Or am I just lying to myself in some vain attempt of comfort? What happens when I do get wrinkles? Do I join a club where they will initiate me by rubbing layers upon layers of cold cream on my face? That stuff really hurts when it gets in your eyes!

I see a lot of women with wrinkles that are still beautiful and the wrinkles only add to that age of beauty. Then I see women that look like a Shar-Pei, i.e., wrinkle dogs. Oh Jesus, which one will I become? Should I rip though all my old family photos and start comparing picture of the women in my family to pictures of those damned dogs, or do I just wait for it like some sort of surprise party you already know about?

The thought of all the medical procedures that we have today should give me some type of comfort, but what if something goes wrong and the first three layers of my skin is burned off and I have to sit in a dark room waiting for it to grow back? Or my eyes get pulled back so far that I look oriental and then I have to dye my hair black to match my new look. Do Orientals get wrinkles? What if I don’t have the money? I’m an English major for God’s sake! I probably won’t have money for paper to write on let alone major constructive surgery.

I wonder if the skin around my eyes will sag so much that I won’t be able to see. If it did, would I use toothpicks to hold the skin up? That would probably hurt. Oh and what if the skin is so heavy that the toothpicks snap and blind me permanently? Hmmm. If I can’t see my wrinkles I probably wouldn’t have to worry about them. Problem solved!


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